DETAILED SYNOPSIS

ACT I: A rocky seashore on the coast of Cornwall.

A group of Pirates is seated on the shore. Frederic is seated alone in a despondent attitude.

In an opening chorus the Pirates are drinking bumper-full glasses of sherry to celebrate the fact that their apprentice Frederic is today free of his indentures. (Pour, O pour the Pirate sherry). When the Pirate King enters, Frederic rises to thank his friends for their good wishes but announces that he is leaving them forever. The King cannot understand why; Frederic is so good at scuttling Cunarders and handling a handspike. Frederic replies that he has always done his best for the Pirates because it was his duty and he is a slave of duty. However, he was apprenticed to them by mistake.

Ruth confesses that the mistake was hers. She is hard of hearing and, as his nursery maid she mistook her commission to apprentice him to a pilot and took him to the Pirates. (When Frederic was a little lad) When she realized her mistake, she could not face her master, so she volunteered to stay with the Pirates as their maid-of-all-work.

Frederick explains that, although he loves the Pirates, he looks on their profession with disgust. Now that he is free, it is his duty to effect their extermination. The King agrees that is what he has to do. Samuel, the King's Lieutenant, adds that it is the best course. Although he does not know why, the pirates are not very successful Pirates and are not making much money. Frederic knows why but it would not be right for him to tell them. The King points out that it is still half an hour until twelve oçlock when his indenture will be up; until then he is still duty-bound to protect their interests. Frederick agrees and says they are too tenderhearted, always sparing those who are weaker than they are and being beaten by those who are stronger. Moreover, since they are all orphans themselves, they never molest other orphans and most of the crews they encounters seem to consist entirely of orphans.

Ruth wonders what will become of her when Frederick leaves. The King responds that Frederic will take her with him. However, Frederic is reluctant. He has been at sea since he was eight and seen no other woman since then. He thinks she has a sweet face but has nothing to compare it with. He would hate to marry her and then discover she is plain, so he will leave her behind. Now it is the top of the tide so they must board their ship and take off. The King asks that the crew's extermination be as swift and painless as possible. Frederic suggests they return to civilization with him, but the King says no, as bad as it is, their profession is comparatively honest when compared to that of "respectable" people. He shall live and die a Pirate King. (Oh, better far to live and die)

After the Pirates leave, Ruth begs Frederic to take her with him, but she is forty-seven to his twenty-one, and men his age usually look for younger wives. She tries to convince him that she is beautiful, but they are interrupted by the sound of women's voices. Frederic sees that it is a "bevy of beautiful maidens". Ruth again begs him not to leave her, but he rejects her. (O false one, you have deceived me)

As the girls approach, Frederic realizes his Pirate costume may alarm them, and he hides. The girls enter singing of their difficult trip. (Climbing over rock mountain). In fact, their older father has fallen far behind. They are delighted to find such a beautiful, secluded spot and while they wait for the servants with the luncheon, they decide to take off their shoes and stockings and paddle in the water. The sight of them each taking off one shoe alarms Frederick, and he emerges from hiding to stop them. He apologizes for his costume but has to tell them their proceedings will be observed. When he says he is a Pirate, they recoil in horror, each hopping on one foot since all have one shoe off. Frederic tells them he has renounced that profession and begs them to help, calling them "blushing buds of ever-blooming beauty". (Oh, is there not one maiden breast.) If one is willing to do her duty and rescue him, he will love her even if she is very plain. At first they all refuse but finally Mabel, the youngest, comes to his defense. (Poor wandering one!) The others wonder if they should stay or leave Mabel and Frederic alone, and they decide to "compromise" by shutting their eyes and talking about the weather (How beautifully blue the sky). Mabel sings of her gladness.

Although Frederic is happy, he warns them to leave because all the other Pirates will soon be there. (Stay, we must not lose our senses) While they are singing, the Pirates enter stealthily and each seizes a girl. They revel in the chance to be parsonified and matrimonified. (Here's a first-rate opportunity.) Mabel stops them by revealing that not only are the girls unwilling to marry them, but also they are Wards in Chancery and their father is a Major-General. On cue he appears, is hailed by them all and sings his famous patter song "I am the very model of a modern Major-General."

When he finishes, the General demands to know what is going on. He is told the Pirates propose to marry his daughters against the girls' will. Frederic is the exception; he intends to live a blameless life. The father has heard of the famous Pirates of Penzance, and he objects to Pirates as sons-in-law. In turn, the Pirates object to a Major-General as a father-in-law. Moreover the Major-General is an orphan. (O men of dark and dismal fate) (Since the Pirates are also often orphans, there follows a lengthy exchange of word play, a real childish "groaner", on the words orphan and often. In an aside, the General reveals he has been lying and the girls confirm this.

The King does not hear the aside and says that although the Pirates may live by strife, they are not devoid of feeling. Life should have some poetry. (Hail, Poetry, thou heav'n-born maid) The Pirates release them all and make them honorary members of their band. As everyone rejoices. Ruth appears and once more begs Frederic not to leave her, but he rejects her. The Pirates decide to give up their hopes of domestic bliss. (Pray observe the magnanimity we display to lace and dimity)

ACT II: A ruined chapel by moonlight. A week later.
A mournful General sits surrounded by his daughters who try to comfort him and to find out why he is up so late. (Oh, dry the glist'ning tear). Frederic enters and they beg him to help cheer their father. The General confesses that he lied when he said he was an orphan, and he is afraid the the Pirates will come after him. He is there in the chapel to humble himself before the tombs of his ancestors. He has brought dishonor on the family escutcheon. The otherbs point out those buried there cannot be his ancestors because he had only bought the property a year ago. However, he can't be convinced. Frederic says he and the Police will attack the Pirates at eleven; by midnight he will be free to marry Mabel. The Police enter, led by the Sergeant who sings "When the Foeman Bares His Steel". After delaying as long as possible, they finally leave. The others also also exit, leaving Frederic alone. The Pirate King and Ruth appear at the window with drawn pistols, and they beg Frederic to save them from slaughter. They have discovered a paradox. Although Frederic has lived for twenty-one years, he was born on February 29 and thus, because this date only occurs every four years, he has had only five birthdays. (See the Birthday paradox for more on the whole age and birthday problem.) Frederic laughs with them until they produce his indenture papers which say he was indentured until his twenty-first birthday, not year, and they appeal to his sense of duty to return to piracy. He reluctantly agrees; duty calls and he will to join them once more. As he is now duty-bound to do, he informs them of the General's lie about being an orphan. They agree to attack his home, Tremorden Castle, that very night. (Away, away! my heart's on fire)

Ruth and the King go, leaving Frederic in despair. Mabel appears, and he tells her of his altered circumstances. Although she insists the Pirates have no legal claim on him, his sense of duty prevails; he must go back. Saying he will return in 1940 when he will have his twenty-first birthday, he jumps through the window. (Ah, leave me not to pine)

Soon the Police enter, and Mabel tells them about Frederic. They do not understand his decision but, since he left from a sense of duty, they accept it and resolve to capture the Pirates themselves. (When a felon's not engaged in his employment) Suddenly the Pirates are heard in the distance. Soon they appear and tiptoe down the stage. (With cat-like tread) Samuel passes out weapons to them all and, when the King, Ruth and Frederic appear, they repeat their song, this time fortissimo, while the Police echo them with their Tarantara. The Major-General appears, still unable to sleep and thinking he had heard a noise. (Singing softly to the river) The Daughters enter in peignoirs and night-caps and, to their alarm, the Pirates seize the General. The Daughters beg Frederic to save them but he cannot. The King tells The General to prepare for death, and Mabel wildly asks if he is to die unshriven and unannealed. Suddenly the Police, who have been hiding, spring up and order the Pirates to yield. They fight, and the Police are overcome. (We triumph now) In turn, the beaten Police charge the Pirates to yield in Queen Victoria's name. This stops the King because they all love their Queen, and they kneel to the triumphant Police. The Pirates are about to be led away when Ruth reveals that the Pirates are not commoners, but all are noblemen who have gone wrong! Now the General is at a loss because he and the Police love their House of Peers, so he begs their pardon, suggests they resume their legislative duties, and offers them his daughters. All join in the Finale, Poor wandering ones.

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Revised February 2010
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